Trying to calm my mind....

it has been a long time since i have even thought of this blog, but lately it is calling me again. whispering for me to engage my thoughts, empty my mind, divulge my inner craziness so that grace and calm may exist in a peaceful place. so my intention is not to name nor point a finger towards the people that accompany my story, but to show you how my mind is able to heal itself though expressing itself. it is possible that there are more blogs than what appear on this page, and like a diary that is hidden under a mattress, i have kept them private so as not to hurt feelings or point fingers, where i know that the lesson, despite the people that are involved, was mine to learn, and the people or circumstances were, most often, just innocent bystanders.

i have encountered a spiritual path that seems so much more like a home-coming, than a new find. i believe, at his moment that i am exactly where i am supposed to be and that i found this new path and have been blessed with the people of it by simply asking for the tools that i need to live my life as i believe it was always meant to be. Peace.

the struggles of late have given me daily reasons to stop, reflect and hopefully to resolve the feelings and problems that surround each of these issues. my struggles most recently involve that most basic of needs (as least as we see it), money. money always conjures up visions of either paradise or stress. and for me this is also true. although i have had ample training in a number of areas in my life, my financial training is quite lacking. so i have been cautious about asking for lessons in this area, but in asking for financial security, the money lessons continue to come. and i have decided to deal with them, acknowledge them, breathe through them and then allow them to play themselves out, while i patiently adhere to their rules. i am not taking the stance of fighting the actualality of the issue, but instead have expressed my desire to walk through the fire and to be able to come out on the other side without a scratch. just wiser.